Post by BOWIE GRACE DARLING, on Mar 3, 2012 18:40:30 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #4D5761; padding:30px; border-top: 3px #6E93B5 dashed; border-bottom: 3px #6E93B5 dashed; border-left: 3px #6E93B5 dashed; border-right: 3px #6E93B5 dashed;] bowie grace darling 24 GOSSIP BLOGGER MEDIA STAFF ASHLEY GREENE DISCLAIMER TO THE TOUR ABOUT BOWIE ----- Hello all! Quick introduction: my name is Bowie Darling. Most of you know me as the biggest music industry gossip blogger, and maybe even a few of you have read some posts of mine. No? That's okay. You will by the end of this tour, since surprise! Me and my crew have been assigned to cover this tour exclusively. I like music, flowers, coffee, hot showers with hot men, intelligent conversation, and not being disturbed when I have work to do. Let's get this straight right now- you've probably heard a lot of stuff about me that's not true. I don't care if you like me or not. My job is to come, to see, and to write about all the shit you do; it's not my fault if you suck at keeping your secrets to yourself or if you're caught making out with someone who you shouldn't. I only come to get the scoop straight to your fans (and maybe stretch it a little), so if everyone could behave while I'm interviewing them and keep the “fuck-you-bitch”'s to yourself, I'd really love it. Thanks, kisses! xx Bowie TWEETS FROM BOWIE ABOUT LAST TOUR ----- @ohbowie Oh, @madmac don't think I don't see you making out with that merch chick in the back there. Just wait till your honey finds out! @ohbowie Oh, seamen. :| I get it now. @ohbowie Well @cassadeesings and @frankiebabe are passed-out on the couch together. Cute girls, drunken sluts are just what every boy on tour wants. @ohbowie Turns out @gusgus's new girlfriend can't shoot whiskey. I'm having serious doubts about this relationship. @ohbowie Ugh, this party has “go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone” written all over it. DX @ohbowie @lexyissexy, it's either jungle juice or the memory of last night. Can't have both pretty boy. @ohbowie I have never seen so many tacky outfits. Apparently “Frozen Slut” is the most popular costume besides those sailor boys. SELECTION OF A 1990 CELBRITY MAGAZINE ARTICLE, TITLED “'DARLING' BABY GIRL” ----- Jack Darling and long time girlfriend Grace Matthews welcome a unexpected surprise this week! Bowie Grace Darling, weighing 8 lbs. exactly, was born to the lucky couple on December 24th at 10:38 named after- yes, you guessed it- Darling's favorite 80s glam rocker David Bowie. Even with the news of the success of lead singer Darling's band Hyperion hitting a world tour and the upcoming anticipated release of their third CD, Darling speaks up about what he calls “his best work yet”. “She's my girl already.” Darling said in a recent interview with GOSSIP, “me and [Grace] might not have been ready for a baby, but I mean, she's here and she's our world.” Jack cleared up the rumors about he and Matthew's getting married. “It's just not the right time. I love Grace, and we're both going to raise Bowie, but I don't think either of us are ready to take that leap yet.” From all of us here at GOSSIP, congrats to the happy couple and their new little rockstar! We hope to be hearing a lot about this one here in a few years. STORIES BOWIE'S CIRCLE OF FRIENDS WOULD TELL YOU ABOUT HER ----- 19. “She probably doesn't remember this one. When we were in the second grade, Bowie told the teacher that he had a big nose. He tried explaining to her that it wasn't nice and that she hurt his feelings, to which Bowie laughed and said, “Don't be silly Mr. Barker, ugly people don't have feelings.” We were pretty much best friends from then on.” 18. “Last week I texted Bowie a picture of the beach while I was on vacation saying “I wish you were here, bitch.” Her response: “Your girlfriend is pregnant and it isn't yours, dick.” ...turns out it was the truth and she'd known for three months and had been saving that little tidbit of information for the next time I was an ass to her.” 17. “We were at some monument in Washington D.C. once and Bowie saw a group of Asians trying to take a picture. So I convinced her to go see if she could help them. She marches right up to them and says slowly “You... want me... to take picture?” while using hand motions and everything. The guy looked at her and says, “No thanks, asshole, I got it,” in plain English. Ha, I thought she was going to kill me." 16. “Oh, this one I heard from Bowie's dad: when Bowie was five, she was watching tv with him on the tour bus and some Barbie commercial came on. You know, the one that says “Be who you wanna be, B-A-R-B-I-E”? Yeah, anyways, Bowie then turned to her dad and said “Daddy, I wanna be a hooker.” Priceless.” 15. “We were in Boston once, shopping at a vinyl store for a birthday present for Bowie's dad. Bowie stuck out her hand for the receipt and the stoner “bro” behind the counter gave her a high-five. If looks could have killed, Bowie's glare would have had him in bloody pieces all over the floor. He told us to have a good day, and Bowie told him to burn in “Hipster Hell”.” 14. “One time an acquaintance of mine was talking to me and Bowie, and Bowie was totally spacing out. The girl finished telling her story, and Bowie laughed “to be polite”. The girl had just finished telling us about how her mother had died of cancer a week earlier.” 13. “I taught a college course two nights a week at a local community college, and Bowie used to take off and come sit in on the class even though she wasn't taking the course. I learned later that she was actually running a bet with some of the other students to see how many times I say “OK” during my two hour lecture. ...it was 137 the last time I let her come.” 12. “Before me and Bowie were friends, we worked together at a local magazine. She has just gone in for an interview earlier that week and was on pins and needles waiting to hear back from them. I thought it was a great day to be friendly and tell her to loosen up and relax. She thought it'd be a great day to punch me in the face.” 11. “I gave some headache pills to Bowie once when she had a migraine. She threw her head back to get the pills down, and in the process, slammed her head against the brick windowsill behind her. She cried for twenty minutes straight and whined she had a concussion for the rest of the day.” 10. “Bowie walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Her only reaction was to shout, “Put some back into it, Brando” before sliding back out of the room.” 09. “Her senior year in high school, Bowie ended her English presentation with “And it remains my opinion that our teacher is a fucking idiot.” Instant suspension.” 08. “One time we were walking down a street in New York and we passed a beggar in the street. It was near Christmas, and in a random act of kindness, Bowie slipped him a dollar from her pocket. We found out at the Macy's twenty minutes later that it was her last $100 bill. Needless to say, Bowie doesn't give money to beggars anymore.” 06. “Bowie brought a basket of condoms to a Halloween party a few years ago and handed them out to the people who looked like they were about to make a bad Halloween decision with the cheerful message, “Don't make ugly babies!”.” 05. “I proposed to Bowie once when I was drunk. She told me she'd only marry me if I got on top of her coffee table and danced the Soulja Boi. I tried... and ended up falling through the glass coffee table. Not only did I end up having to pay for her coffee table, she recorded the entire thing on her phone and posted it on her Youtube channel. ...bitch.” 04. “One time I was staying with Bowie at her dad's house in San Francisco for a weekend, when she yelled at me from downstairs. It was “an emergency”. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to Bowie only to find out that she wanted me to see a video of someone playing “Bohemian Rhapsody” on the ukelele.” 03. “Once in high school, Mr. Darling showed up and checked Bowie out to have some “father-daughter bonding time.” Bowie text me the entire time, because “bonding time” apparently meant watching Silent Hill with the rest of his band mates and their kids.” 02. “I rear-ended a guy once when I was just learning to drive and Bowie was in the car. I was so freaked out about my parents finding out, so when the guy got out of the car to come get my insurance information, Bowie leaned out the sunroof of my car and screamed at the guy to “Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!” He was so freaked out, he did!” 01. “We were going back to her apartment one time after a coffee run and ran into her next door neighbor on the way up. They chit-chatted for a few moments, then the other lady apologized that her baby's crying kept Bowie up all night. Apparently she had heard Bowie yelling through the wall at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up.” faith. 21. central. |